Daters 101 Change How You Think!


 Author: Jaquetta Stevens aka Ms. Opinionated

               Change How You Think      

       Many women and men have these same assumptions that because they have been through such hard times in dating that all men and women are the same. This thinking process is exactly why so many individuals are not married or in committed relationships today. I would like to think of it as an individual scorned and now they are sabotaging themselves when it comes to finding true love. I cannot understand why so many individuals today feel that because they have had a bad experience with relationships that it means that there’s no one for them to love.

         To be honest ladies, a man is going to be a man and a woman a woman; have you ever notice no matter what a man or woman does they do it because it’s in their nature. I say this because so many women think because their men does not pay attention to everything they do that they are with the wrong man, but every man has his ways and you will find this out more while you continue through life.  Women complain that men seem to have a problem with the wandering eye, my question would be if a woman saw an attractive man wouldn’t they look? It is completely normal to appreciate what God put on this earth and it does not mean that your husband or wife wants to leave you for that person.

            Let’s talk about the highly paid professional man who could live among the most successful individuals, they will still find themselves committing the sin of lust once they see a nice figure around.  Most women believed that if I keep my man from going to some places I do not have to worry. To be honest, it’s not true! Most of these women with the sexy figures and pretty faces are usually working with these men or they are seen sometimes while he is riding home from his journey to or from work.  If you feel you need to protect your man from places, it’s because he may not be that faithful man you would want him to be, or maybe you have a problem with trust from prior life experiences.  

         My point to all of this is a man will surprise you just as a woman will, most men and women would be amazed with the conversations your partner has with their friends or co-workers when you are not around.  I tend to see often women and men angered after finding out things that were  done inappropriately, which eventually was relayed back by a good friend of what their partner got caught doing the night before. This is why it’s extremely important to make sure before rushing into dating or marriage that you truly learn your partner.  If you take your time, you may find that the person you originally thought was right for you are not.  One thing I hate to see is someone who is hurt and stressed from bad relationships. If we learn how to be patient and focus on what we need in our lives before anyone else is a part of it,  I honestly can say that we would most definitely be better off when finding love.

          After talking to many couples about relationships, I found that there were plenty of couples who shared the story of moving fast into a marriage without knowing who they were marrying.  This situation is quite disturbing to talk about especially when you learn that most couples who were married, remained in a terrible marriage so they would not be an embarrassment to the family.  This is always a big problem when mom and dad has so much input in your marriage that you feel the decisions you make are based on them. For years daters have had the problems of going and telling their parents everything that goes on between them and their partners.

     In result, they wonder why their relationships did not work out. It is none of anyone’s business of who says what in a marriage unless you are being abused.  I just hate when couples fight and they  find a need to run and tell the parents about their personal problems, this goes to show that they  are spoiled, still wants the approval of mom and dad, and cannot seem to grow up and be a man or a woman in their own household.  When you are dating or married, your personal business stays with you and your partner. Work on handling your own issues, keep others out, and then you may see that you will have a healthier relationship.



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