Imagined Celebrity Connections: Gwyneth Paltrow Asks Beyoncé About the Destiny’s Child Reunion Rumors


Each week, Josh Duboff looks at the biggest celebrity news—and amuses himself by imagining how those celebrities might have reacted.

A Destiny’s Child Instagram account begins posting photos, generating rumors about a possible reunion.

Gwyneth texts Beyoncé: lady!!!!

Beyoncé: Gwyneth, hi, how are you?

Gwyneth: Well, it’s November, which is always an important month for checking in with yourself

Gwyneth: you have to be centered by December, or things can really veer off course

Beyoncé: nice!

Two minutes pass.

Gwyneth: I loved your Halloween costumes – what fun!

Beyoncé: oh thank you!

Beyoncé: just kind of threw them together at the last minute, you know how it goes

Beyoncé: LOL

Beyoncé: did you guys dress up?? I don’t think I saw any pix

Gwyneth: oh, just you wait for goop in a few weeks! 😉

Gwyneth: yes, each family member actually designed his or her own costume

Gwyneth: apple and moses started on their concepts last summer

Beyoncé: wait . . . like, summer 2015? For ~this~ Halloween?

Gwyneth: that’s correct

Gwyneth: I went this year as a Crashing Wave

Beyoncé: wow!

Five minutes pass.

Gwyneth: so I must ask— the destiny’s child rumors? is it real this time?

Beyoncé: oh, that whole thing is so funny!

Beyoncé: no, it’s really nothing!

Beyoncé: just some old pictures someone at the label put up

Beyoncé: like i’ve said before, it would be like you going back to do shallow hal 2 now or something

Three minutes pass.

Gwyneth: beyonce, I love you, but please don’t ever bring up shallow hal to me

Gwyneth: [7 kiss emojis]



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