Each week, Josh Duboff looks at the biggest celebrity news—and amuses himself by imagining how those celebrities might have reacted.
A Destiny’s Child Instagram account begins posting photos, generating rumors about a possible reunion.
Gwyneth texts Beyoncé: lady!!!!
Beyoncé: Gwyneth, hi, how are you?
Gwyneth: Well, it’s November, which is always an important month for checking in with yourself
Gwyneth: you have to be centered by December, or things can really veer off course
Two minutes pass.
Gwyneth: I loved your Halloween costumes – what fun!
Beyoncé: oh thank you!
Beyoncé: just kind of threw them together at the last minute, you know how it goes
Beyoncé: did you guys dress up?? I don’t think I saw any pix
Gwyneth: oh, just you wait for goop in a few weeks! 😉
Gwyneth: yes, each family member actually designed his or her own costume
Gwyneth: apple and moses started on their concepts last summer
Beyoncé: wait . . . like, summer 2015? For ~this~ Halloween?
Gwyneth: that’s correct
Gwyneth: I went this year as a Crashing Wave
Five minutes pass.
Gwyneth: so I must ask— the destiny’s child rumors? is it real this time?
Beyoncé: oh, that whole thing is so funny!
Beyoncé: no, it’s really nothing!
Beyoncé: just some old pictures someone at the label put up
Beyoncé: like i’ve said before, it would be like you going back to do shallow hal 2 now or something
Three minutes pass.
Gwyneth: beyonce, I love you, but please don’t ever bring up shallow hal to me
Gwyneth: [7 kiss emojis]